flame-of-love

February, please be kind to me.

2012-02-02T05:03:00.000-08:00

January was not a disaster.

but it was...................not really a perfect month.

I dont really know how to say it. but i just want february to be beautiful.

i know i havent been updating my blog for quite awhile, i am so sorry for that. but i am really putting my studies as first priority. :) i love you guys for coming to my blog. well, this month was really fine thought. just want a better month for February.

So, please be beautiful.

.....to get lost.

2012-01-23T23:05:00.000-08:00

yes, i totally need that right now.
its chinese new year. its chu1 er4 today. and i am panicing if i shld study or not.
most probably, i wont.
because i've hesitating whether i should or not for hours. and appearantly, i wasted almost 3hours staring into space.
however, i made a great lunch for myself. :) YUMMY.
Sometimes, i am just so tired of everything.
dont doubt the previous post, i am still happy.
just that, i will be happi-er, if there's no such thing called school.
not saying i dont want to go sch, no. i love sch alot, its a place for me to see friends, great teachers.
but i just dont like all the up-coming test and the pressure stacking on me.
i know i have to face them anyway, but just right now,
i want to find a better place,
to get lost.
-
and all i could say is.....
my dog just totally brighten up my day. :)
i love you Black.J
-

happy pills?

2012-01-20T03:58:00.000-08:00

happy pills?
nah, i dont need them. i am already very happy. :)

i dont know why? but i am really feeling happy these days.

nothing much happen..just as usual...go to school, lessons, friends and that's it.

& i am happy. :)

i am happy with my life.

i am happy with who i am right now.

i am happy with almost everything, just wanna work alittle bit more on studies.

today's just a random short post i guess.

and i know i shouldnt be here, but its new year bitch.

i hope everyone have a great holiday!!!!! :D

OFF TO.......PLAY! -- no, study.

can't fight the URGE.

2012-01-13T07:08:00.000-08:00

i am so sorry, i know i should not be here blogging.
cause i have to study... but you cant really ask me to study 24/7 right bitch?
so yea, i am gonna blog......., when i want to............., IF i got the "free" time.
for those who reads my blog, "thank you." but you should be glad that i am making this post.
cus its eating into my sleeping time, and i actually decided not to sleep, but blog.
LOL.
anyway, today is OMG, FRIDAY THE 13TH.
and we all should be glad, cause we've survived for 23hours and 35mins.
and we're not dead yet.
so, be glad. :)
-
today's post is gonna be more serious. :) (as always)
i am starting to feel his power within me. especially these days, i was so motivated to get my ass down and study.
like there's this urge and feeling of not to waste any seconds in a day, cus you just freaking dont want to waste any seconds.
i dont even want to queue up for food in the canteen cause i realised its so fucking such a waste of time. you know what i mean?
hmmmmm anyway, i am starting to put my trust in him. and i want to follow the plan he has for me. i dont know what is it gonna be, nobody knows?
but i guess, for some parts of it, i know i am getting over you. :)
thank god i am.
Because,
when i look at you now, i feel how stupid i was the past 1whole yr and 5months.
when i look at you now, i feel that i deserve better.
when i look at you now, i feel more confident and i can simply just look away.
when i look at you now, i don't feel the heating sensation filling up in me and my face don't turn red.
when i look at you now, i don't feel anything.
when i look at you now, i don't feel awkward.
when i look at you now, my heart ain't beating crazily fast for you.

I AM IN LOVE

2012-01-10T06:45:00.000-08:00

OMG LOL.
hah. so true.
anyway, just coming here for a quite update.
hmm, currently in love with studying like seriously.
i was so motivated ytd and today, i started my revision.
did amath for the whole day, and learnt alot. :)
am so fucking tired but i guess its worth it.
so, i wont be coming here to blog that often. maybe once a week? or twice?
really gonna put this super duper big distraction away from me. (computer) :/
and i will miss it....
so thats it. off to sleep. :) today is way too tired.
bye.

THIS IS JUST THE START.

2012-01-09T00:00:00.000-08:00

A BIG BIG SMILE ON MA FACE.

appearantly, i just got back my O's chi result like an hour ago.
omg, i was still so fucking worried because i kind of screwed my compo. (i thought)
and in the end, i didnt.
a PRETTY AWESOME A1 on my certificate.
i am seriously happy. and this is really good, cause i am motivated.
and watching all the graduates taking back their results with tears of joy, i am really motivated that i want to do well and i can do well. :)
i guess it all starts from now.
the past is the past, and now is future. :)
got an A1 in the pocket, i want more.
-
HOW I LOOK LIKE WHEN I SAW MY A1.

WOOHOOO!!!!!!!!!!

CAMP 'EXCLAMATION MARK'

2012-01-07T03:55:00.000-08:00

camp was awesome. :)
well the first day was still kinda boring, but i think its because we all got to do the fucking boring activity for the first day. seriously no mood at all. _l_
and then, walking under the mad hot sun is just killing me. i would do anything just to get a shower.
but.......CAMP FIRE WAS CRAZILY AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH
omg, i went mad. and it was just so much fun! went mad with jean, weixian, nuanlin, waileng and singing dancing. :D
second day, our class was much more energetic. :) and we even won the cooking contest.
LOL ! forever.
-
-
well, and one more thing.
we all dont want to live with regrets. and i guess i really have no regrets on you anymore.
i moved on but sometimes, seeing you talking to her so happily, just tempts me to go and give you a slap.
she's a evil bitch that everyone knows. why cant you see it?
she's the fakest person i ever seen in my life. why cant you see it?
she's has the darkest heart ever. why cant you see it?
i moved on, but sometimes, i still feel sad.
but i think i really made improvements, cause now, i will look at those people who cherish friendship with me. i learn to look around myself, and see those people who adore me like how i used to adore you.
i woke up, and moved on.
i hope you will wake up from all her fake smiles, cuteness.
just breathe.

girls! BE SMART.

2012-01-05T05:23:00.000-08:00

the statement up there is so fucking true.

but seriously,

try to control to have a crush on ur friend and not someone whom you only know the looks, name and just talk alittle bit.

cus, seriously, if the person dont give a fucking damn about you,

just move on babe. (:

you worth a better man.

so this is the face i am giving you from today on words.

you have my words,

"we were once kinda friendly to each other.

we were once so-call friends.

we once comforted and motivated each other."

and if you really wanna be a dog to her, be my guest,

just hope you wont regret in future that you actually be somebody's dog and wasted your life.

i'm seriously sorry if i was once so crazy, so mad over you.

mayb i scared you or something.

mayb i was TOO friendly towards you.

but now, this is one finger i want to give you,

_l_

CAMP AT THE ZOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(?)

2012-01-04T06:52:00.000-08:00

nice.

anyway, sch these days are really cool.

just lecture lecture lecture blahblahblah.

math lecture, chinese lecture, eng lecture, and then a mind therapy?!
whats wrong with the sch?
no lesson for one whole week, just lecture.
they know we wont listen right?

i mean seriously, half a time i am sleeping with my fucking big eyes open.

heh, practice makes perfect.

anyway, the only i am looking forward is camp at the fucking zoo.

WOOHOO SLEEPING WITH THE ANIMAL YEA!

AHA !

but wtf, only 2days-1night?

are you seriously?

if you want to make camp, like a real camp, do it a 3days-2nights bro?

they just wan us to get a little taste of joy and then back to hell.

(but really, i am so glad we have camp)

happy.

MIDDLE FINGERS EVERYWHERE.

2011-12-31T04:22:00.000-08:00

WHAT THE FUCK?

ALONE DURING THE FUCKING NEW YEAR EVE.

AWESOME FUCK.

2012 BETTER BE SOME AWESOME SHIT.

WORLD BETTER NOT END IN 2012.

HAPPY FUCKING NEW YEAR EVE.

am i a squirrel?!

2011-12-30T22:43:00.001-08:00

As you can see below.
its of course a fucking scary threaten letter.
-
i dont want my house to get freaking blowed up, so i actually follow the intrusction.
but i just cant fight the urge to open so i actually hide it.
and now the most stupidest and funniest things is happening now.
I CANT REMEMBER WHERE THE FUCK I HIDE IT!!!!!!
ohmigo, i am panicing now,
panic cus i am worried i will nvr find the letter again and i wont even know whats inside.
panic cus i am also worried that i have serious MENTAL PROBLEM.
pray for me then.

now, that's sweet

2011-12-30T06:47:00.000-08:00

i dont fucking believe in true love,
because i always get fucking hurt.
but now, that's sweet.

AW!

EWWW WHO WILL EAT THIS SHIT.

2011-12-30T04:48:00.000-08:00

seriously, if i am boss of this chocolate company, i will nvr make my chocolate into this kind of freak.

i dont even dare to eat it. it looks disgusting and totally ruined my appetite.
Freddo....YOU DONT LOOK TATSTY.

ITS ACHING EVERYWHERE :(

2011-12-29T05:15:00.001-08:00

okay so i just had dance camp for the previous two days.
and its kinda kool cause dance club never had a camp before in history. OOPS.
so, was really excited especially when you are gonna spend time with friends. :)
and it just fucking ruin your fucking excited mind that you have to see that bitch again.
-
so the camp is actually organised by my dance coach and he just gathered almost every school (either sec or jc) together and we dance togetherrrrrrr. COOL NOT.

this is a totally of 5 schools.

and this is the group i was in.

well really like my group cus we worked as a team and everyone's just so friendly. :)

really glad i participated i guess but really hate the consequences......

MY FUCKING BODY'S ACHING EVERYWHERE.

ALMOST EVERY JOINTS ARE ACHING.

NECK, SHOULDERS, ABS, WAIST, HIPS, BUTT?!

WHAT THE FUCK?!

I AM HAVING BIG ISSUE ON WALKING, LAUGHING, PEEING, SHITTING AND EVERY MOMENT WHEN I SNEEZED. (ESP WHEN I AM SICK RIGHT NOW)

just hope all these aching and bruises will be gone when sch reopen. if not they might think i suffered from child abuse. AHAH!

fuckthis-bye.

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas.

2011-12-25T06:08:00.000-08:00

HOHOHO, MERRY CHRISTMAS.
so its just 1 hr and 30mins more till this special day end.
my day was kinda awesome this morn & afternoon.
went service (like finally) and sang along with friends and then head for lunch.
we were so funnieh, cant even afford fish&co. and then ran out to eat yoshinoya.
well thats pathetic but not so negative. (cus soon you will know whats pathetic)
and then had some laugh with them.
played with the food after we were done, seriously, that's the most childish and unkind thing that a child will do, but really, its just so fun. like you are cooking in ur own kitchen.
adding anything you like and then you can just leave it there. (so sorry to those who have to clean it up :/ )
and then my day starts to turn gloomy.
i reached home. nobody's home. pathetic.
and then made myself dinner at 5. which is so fucking early and i just finshed lunch. pathetic.
and then tot of jogging at 8 like what i did ytd but then i got lazy. pathetic.
and then "shld i buy beer?" thought hits me and i actually paniced for 5mins and killed lots of brain cell on thinking. pathetic.
and then "are you legal?" thought hits me too. pathetic.
so i think twice before i act. :) i am a good girl, aren't i? pathetic.
then sat infront the comp thinking what movie should i watch? pathetic.
i chosed a sad movie cus i cant rmb the last time i cry the fuck out loud. pathetic.
and my wish came true (THANK YOU SANTA) pathetic.
i watched it and cried the shit out of myself. pathetic.
thats the end of the pathetic part btw.
anw, today's post is not just about all this important stuff that i've shared .
its about the nonsense that i am going to tell you later......in 3...., 2..., 1!
TODAY IS ACTUALLY JESUS'S BIRTHDAY!
do you know ? i bet you dont. (just kidding)
i dont like people who are so lazy and write short form Xmas as Christmas.
FUCK YOU!
do you know what christmas mean????!!!!!!!
cant you spell christmas? there's a fucking CHRIST in it you asshole.
let me show you,
C-H-R-I-S-T mas.
christ means god.
god means jesus.
now you get it and dont you dare ever write short form again. biatch.
thats it. i wanna get a warm shower and watch more movie. :)
byebye and have a happy C-H-R-I-S-T mas.

IT HIT 53 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-12-24T02:54:00.000-08:00

its fucking weird that i suddenly came back here and blog.....dots dots dots
when i actually suddenly accidentally deleted all my previous posts.
okay, you caught me, i did it on purpose.
"no i didnt!"
"yes you did stop denying!!!!!!!"
"NO BITCH I DIDNT!"
"YOU CALLING WHO BITCH YOU BITCH?"
FINE, I DID IT, ON.......PUR PUR PUR POSE PURPOSE.
(whats wrong with me up there?)
anyway its been a great holiday.
hmmm spent most of my time with family
you know? papa, mama, and sis.
and then, i have to come back home ALONE! to spend my Christmas eve ALONE!
and its surely that i will spend time ALONE! during the Christmas which is like few hrs later. AWESOME DONT YOU THINK???
what the fcuk.
not trying to complain. but i dont think i deserve this.
welll actually i did.
if i didnt screw up my sc during the end of exam, then i dont have to come back early for that fucking probation test.
the sch actually want us, no no no, want me to burn my hols and christmas for the probation test. shit you.
i know whatever, no matter how hard i study, i will nvr do wellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll.
and i know you will just think that i didnt study hard enough. whatever bitch.
if you really wan us to do welll, THEN SET A EASIER PAPER.
come out with sth that i CAN GUARANTEE you the students can hit As.
1+1 =
1x1 =
okay, sth harder,
20+50 =
20x100 =
see? come out sth slowly and dont pull up the difficulty level so sudden.
and we will all just be fine. :)
i happy, you happy, everyone's happy
the sch see student happy
they will actually not be happy, cus they are here to make us live in hell
so, they will only be happy becus we can achieve.
what a great theory.
i just think that study is not all.
whats important is to live a life that we want. with just basic education. mayb some wants to get a higher education, "you go ahead!" but dont force me. if i cant do, it means i dont have potential. i dont have the fucking brain cells on sc.
pissed off face.
and after so long, i almost forgot the thing that inspired me to blog again right now.
and that is my first ever comment on youtube has hit 53 thumbs up.
OMG. IT FEELS SO COOL.
you dont even know who thumbs up for you you know? but you just feel agreed like somebody supports you. mayb he's ur neighbour, mayb he's ur classmate, mayb he's ur teacher? dog? cat? birds that stop at ur window every morn!!!!!????
WHO KNOWS??? O.O
okay thats it.